Breaking through the walls

So I have had 3 weigh ins at weight watchers and today I am down 10 pounds. I am so excited because I so have not felt deprived at all. I have been here before, the first 10 pounds are usually fairly easy and then I self sabotage. I am not sure exactly why, I feel comfortable and relax a little, I feel I don't deserve to be healthy for some insane reason, I guess it comes down to not loving myself enough to continue. I love that I am aware this time around of my past slip ups and I am going to focus big time this week on going through that wall that has plagued me for years. I am so excited to succeed this week.

I really feel that this time is different. I have felt more secure about who I am and that I am good enough. That my weight doesn't define me. That my friends are my friends no matter what I weigh.

I have had so much support from friends and family. Thanks to all of you for being there for me and helping me realize I deserve this. It really means the world to me that you guys want me to succeed and be happy.

Update

So I ended up not doing so well on the Jillian Michaels food plan. I don't have the best self control which is why I am in this mess in the first place. Anyway what I have realized is I have to choose a food plan that I truely can stick to for the rest of my life. I have to be able to have a piece of chocolate every day if I want to. When I deprive myself of anything I want to binge and that doesn't work for me. I have done weight watchers in the past and it has worked for me. So I have chosen to do it again. I have done it for a week now and when I weighed in yesterday I had dropped 5 pounds. I know the initial weight loss is bigger than I will get next week but I loved the program. I never felt deprived. I ate easter candy, ice cream, salads, soups, whatever I felt like, I just had to track it. I never felt deprived. There is no such thing as a quick fix, believe me I have tried them all from atkins to hcg. Yes you lose weight fast and it feels great but it isn't realistic for me to eat that way forever. I have to learn to make right choices, and this works for me. I have great friends who are so supportive of me in anything that I choose. Thanks so much to all of you.

I still love the workouts though. I have been doing more walking which has helped me get my steps in daily but you can't beat Jillians kick butt routines and since hers is only 25 minutes, you can do both.

Thanks all for the support. You guys ROCK!!!